Thursday, March 18, 2010

The Joy of Vomiting

Never used to barf much.  I had an iron stomach... only food poisoning could get me, and that was a fight.  My grandmother's food got me once when I was younger - note that storing bags of potato chips in the freezer and opened 'keep refrigerated after opening' salad dressing in the cupboard are warning signs that maybe grandma's food may not be safe any more.

Eight or ten years later some bad takeout in the middle of northern Ontario took me out.  It was on the cross Canada bike trip.  Had to get out of the tent for copious vomiting only to be devoured by a million mosquitoes.

Four or five years later was the infamous puke fest at a bar in Vancouver.  I maintain food poisoning, since friend Karla was also sick later that night & we had both eaten the same food.  Served by Doug.  Who denies, denies, denies.  I just wanted to put my head down to feel better, but the bar staff thought I was drunk.  Irony since I'm a non-drinker.  I would have been fine if I could have rested a few minutes, but they insisted I sit up or get out.  So I spewed all over, then got out.  Take that, unsympathetic meanies...

Its not that there weren't other times that I needed to throw up.  I just put an enormous amount of effort into resisting it.  Not throwing up was hard work.  My body was sometimes desperate, but I had such an aversion to heaving that I would spend hours blocking it.  Deep breathing... distraction... lying very still...  I had loads of techniques.  But I would spend hours sweating and shaking, feeling disgustingly nauseous, all the while desperately trying not to spew.  Usually I wouldn't, but the suffering went on and on.

Lately I've changed my tune though.  I still have a mental block when it comes to regurgitation.  I still hate barf in the beard, chunks coming through the nose, the horrible smell, and the nasty aftertaste.  However, I've found that 30 seconds of extreme discomfort sure beats hours and hours of feeling like crap in order to avoid it.  Its not that I exactly welcome spewing, but I don't resist the way I used to.

Hence vomiting more in the last five years than in the previous 30 combined.  Including last night.  I knew it was coming so had restricted myself to fluids.  It was nice and runny.  I hate chunky most.  Felt better almost immediately and had a pleasant sleep.  So much better than up half the night fighting it. 

P.S.  We've been watching Goonies recently.  Should have saved the barf to throw over the balcony at a movie theatre....

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