Thursday, December 15, 2011

The Three Insults of Online Gaming


It seems there are only three.  More than 95% of online gaming insults fall into one of the following (in order of frequency):

1. Fag (variants - gay, "your gay", "your a fag" (never "you're"), "thats gay", homo, suck my d***)
Surprisingly, this covers at least two thirds of the insults in the online gaming world.  I find it funny, considering this groundbreaking study about homophobia the abstract of which says:  "Homophobia is apparently associated with homosexual arousal that the homophobic individual is either unaware of or denies."  My standard reply to any kind of homophobic insult is "Keep your homoerotic fantasies to yourself please."

2. Noob (variants - newb, scrub)
About a quarter of the time "noob" is the insult of choice.  Usually "noob" comes out after they lose to a very rudimentary tactic, cheese, or a rush.  Most of the time it is irony, because in general, cheap cheesy tactics only work vs noobs.  Also, many online games you can check an opponents profile, very often the first people to cry noob are, well, noob.

3. Kid (variants - "son")
This one is pretty infrequent, maybe 5% of the time.  I wonder if "son" is a derogatory comment from popular culture that I don't get as an insult.  I am above the average age for gamers, so I find it a little amusing.  A player's profile generally doesn't indicate how old they are in real life, but pretty sure "kid" and "son" insults come mostly from pimply teenagers.

It makes me sad a little to hear such unimaginative people.  What I wouldn't give for one "Your mother was a hampster and your father smelled of elderberries!"  Just a barrage of "fag", "noob", and "kid".  I would even be mollified by the trifecta, but despite a couple "fag noob" and "noob kid" I've never actually seen "fag noob kid".


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