Thursday, October 8, 2009

My 14 inches of Manhood

One time at the urinals in a public washroom, guy leans over and says "Wow, that's really long!". I knew he had to be talking about my beard because... well lets just say I knew he was talking about the beard. Writing about the demise of my sandals made me realize that this summer my beard also celebrated its tenth birthday.

Wasn't originally intending to grow a big long goatee. It was more of a how big a beard can I grow this summer in PEI. Went out to Vancouver for Y2K new years, figured to have a laugh about it with the gang, then shave it off. While I was there, getting off the ferry, saw a guy with huge long braided goatee, thought it was neat, decided to give it a try.

Managed a short little braid after 6 months, it was six inches long after the first year. Maybe nine after two years. Then growth slowed down quite a bit. Seemed to be stuck around a foot long for the last few years. Decided to take better care of it - unbraiding more frequently to comb, so now up to 14 inches after a decade.

Living in a small town, don't get as many stares as I used to as most people have seen me around by now. Except from kids, they always find it fascinating and its often funny to see them try to point it out to parents or friends without being obvious about it. Stopped in Leaf's class the other day and there was a general uproar. She's been on mat leave and I haven't been supply teaching, so the kids hadn't seen me in school before.

Surprisingly few people make any kind of comment about it. The occasional 'neat' or 'cool'. A tour group of little old asian ladies in Ottawa asked me to be in a group photo with them. Driving in Toronto once, a drunk jaywalking prostitute pointed and laughed... (as tempting as it was, I didn't return the favour.)

I think it fulfills my long hair wish. I had nice long hair a couple times in my youth. Sadly that isn't an option any more. Follically challenged and all that. I sometimes tell people I'm growing the beard long so I can then comb it over my bald spot. I can almost do that now. Ten years has flown by.


  1. That is VERY impressive! Is that the same green elastic too?

  2. Nope, on my third 100-pack. They frequently fall off, get lost, or break.