Parental Panic #3 of Infinity

If you have kids you know the heart dropping moment you realize they are about to get hurt.  Not the hurt that causes tears and can be cured with a hug and a feel-better bandaid wasted on unbroken skin, but the "oh $#!%" kind that taps into a parent's primal fear.

The boys were playing on the back deck by themselves after Leaf had come in to feed a screaming Ares.  I was watching them through the picture window while they played on the slide and threw snow.  Mars was playing with a rope he had tied to a deck post at the top of the slide.

You see where this is going?  The paranoid parent in me wanted to go out and say stop.  They love playing with rope, sting, wire, extension cords.  Tying up dad's feet, playing fishing, tied up tag...  It makes me a little nervous and we've had the "never around necks" talk what seems like dozens of times.  I wanted to go out and say "No!", but I feel like I've been saying no an awful lot lately.

I think he is playing Indiana Jones or something, using the rope to climb up the slide.  I'm glad I had noticed and been concerned about the rope because otherwise I wouldn't have even heard his little whimpering cry after he disappeared down the slide.  I ran out into the snow in my socks and scoop him up - he had gone down the slide with the rope around his neck and got hung up halfway down.  Luckily the rope also went under one armpit, but hurt him enough to scare the crap out of everyone.

A nasty mark on his neck where the rope burned, me freaked out more than him because I understood how horrible it could have been.   Odin got upset by the flurry of activity and hid under the deck, causing another panic, because they are not supposed to go out of sight of the window, so Leaf rushed out to find him.

Mars ended up being most upset because he had wanted to stay outside. Settled him down with promise of hot chocolate from the new machine.  Odin calmed enough to come in as well, but my adrenaline kept going like mad.  Primal fear sucks.  Rope was removed.  Yet another rope/neck/dangerous talk, I can only hope some first hand knowledge makes it sink in.


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Beaten up by a 4 year old

I knew that one day Mars would be bigger, faster, and stronger than me.  And that eventually, he would most likely be better than me at video games.  It isn't supposed to happen at 4 though.

We started using the Wii again at retail shopping season when my family came to visit.  It had been largely collecting dust since the year before when the novelty wore off.  Mars and Odin were too little and after I finished Lego Star Wars there wasn't much that interested me in the way of games. 

Boxing proved to be the most popular.  The skill level was appropriate for a four year old - just flail your arms around.  He (and Odin) had lots of fun beating up dad.  I would pretend to try hard while he beat me like a red-headed step child.  Lots of pretend indignation from me and maniacal laughter from the two of them.

After a while, I figured he needed some life lessons.  Its easy to get a four year old to do what you want if you make it a contest - "who can get their shoes on fastest" when he is lollygagging instead of getting ready to go out works like a charm.  However, we were getting instances of him throwing a fit because he had to "win" every time.  So lesson 1 - you can't/don't always win, followed by lesson 2 - losing with grace.

So I figured I'd try just a little bit, make it a close win at the last minute, and talk through the result with him.  He beat me.  I tried a little harder.  He beat me.  I tried harder from the beginning instead of leaving the knockout until the last round.  He beat me.  I went all out to knock him on his little mii ass in the first round.  He beat me.  What the hell.  Something about his little wii boxing arm flail dance is particularly conducive to the game.  It is linked to the length of his arms (because I tried to imitate him without success).  We tried bowling.  I won.  He didn't care.

I had to read the manual, do the training mode, google some tips, and play single player a dozen times before I managed to eke out a win against him.  It was close, and he probably still beats me 3 times out of 4. 

He hasn't asked to play for a few weeks now, I think the novelty has worn off again.  Thankfully.

It fell in my nose, Daddy

We had the object-up-the-nose experience yesterday.  Just before nap time, Mars started complaining that his nose hurt.  A series of questions determined that it hurt inside, not outside, and that there was something green in there.  What is green and up your nose?  I obviously figured booger, but Mars said it was a piece of green flower (or "flour" - our homemade playdough?) that he had picked up off the floor.  After that point, it apparently "fell" up his nose.

Managed to get a look up his nose, with the help of a flashlight I could see there was definitely a 4-5mm green object way up there.  I plugged the other nostril with my thumb and got him to blow out - lots of snot, but no movement.  A couple of sneezes also no effect.  Plugged opposite side again and gently blew into his mouth.  Still nothing.  I wondered about tweezers, but it was pretty far up and I couldn't see him holding still even if I managed to get near it.

He was complaining of pain whenever I touched his nose, and started resisting my requests that he blow out while I blocked the other side with my thumb.  Even my suggestion that he should try and blow snot onto my hand stopped working.  Inside his nose was red and looked inflamed.  If it was a piece of flower, I wondered if a bit of stem was jamming into the side.  Whatever it was, it hadn't moved a bit after our removal efforts.

Leaf took him to the doctor.  Doctor elected to wait and see.  Getting it out would require a trip to the hospital and being strapped down.  We need to do a follow up visit to make sure all the bits come out.  During his nap, I was able to gentle press on the outside of his nose, perhaps I loosened it enough for it to come out.  When I looked today, the big object not there, but still something.   If it was a flower bud, that is gone, but maybe a piece of stem?  Either way, at least Mars is no longer complaining of pain.  Net result is that I have a cute video of him telling me what is up there and how it got there.

Followup: It did need a trip to the hospital!





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Parent's worst fears: Mars' medical emergency

Saturday night, Mars wasn't feeling too good. He'd had a cough, lots of crying for daddy at bedtime, complaining of a pain in his tummy, he didn't sleep much. Very clinging and crying in the morning for mummy. We decided to take him to the hospital early Sunday morning. He threw up first time waiting to see the triage nurse. A quiet morning in emergency, he was pretty much sent right in with Leaf while while I amused Odin in the waiting room.

She came out to get me after a while. They had pretty quickly put Mars in a mask and were having a hard time starting an IV. Five tries without success, he was screaming and traumatized by it. Finally they got a small needle and managed to draw some blood but gave up on IV. Resisted the mask, but I convinced him it was a cool Darth Vader mask. The ventolin helped him but doctor was very concerned. He was in respiratory distress, oxygen levels low, and though he perked up after meds, quickly back to difficulty breathing.

Doctor told us that she wanted to transfer him to the city hospital. By ambulance because of the risk. Thats when it hit me - until then I was in 'just a sore tummy' mode, and this was something that could be fatal. A quick chest x-ray first, crew arrived, gave him a teddy bear, strapped him to stretcher, wired him up with five or six leads, oxygen mask. He looked so tiny and helpless. A sight no parent should ever see. We decide I'll travel in the ambulance with him, Leaf heads home to pack some clothes, find somewhere for James to stay, & follow down with Odin. They load Mars in & he says "I'm ready to go home now Daddy." I still mist up just thinking about it. I think he was in shock - wasn't fussing or crying, just a wide eyed stare.

Thankfully he soon fell asleep in the ambulance. The crew were great, trying to be reassuring, but getting the intubation equipment made me more scared. Lights and siren the whole way, I wouldn't have thought it was physically possible to make the trip in an hour. Still the longest trip ever. Mars woke up as he was unloaded into emergency. More poking and prodding, but very busy, so he was watching all the goings on. Pediatrician came to see him, thinks most likely asthma attack, but wants to keep him for observation and safety. My mum had come down, and Mars perked right up when he saw grandma.

We're transferred up to pediatric ward, but in isolation because it is a respiratory problem - due to swine flu, they don't want to take chances. Good because he gets a private room, bad because nurses are all in gowns, masks and gloves whenever they come in, and he has to get tested for H1N1. Mum and Odin had arrived in the meantime and were waiting in the room. Mars said later that he liked the needles least (from Bancroft emergency's crappy attempts to IV), but I think the nasal 'swab' was worst for him. When the doctor said swab, I figured a q-tip rubbed around the nostril. Instead a 6 inch probe that probably poked all the way to his brain and came out bloody. Nurses had to wrap him in a blanket first to prevent struggling. Other than that, he was so willing to put up with everything. My little trooper.

Steroids and ventolin masks for the rest of the afternoon, he's in and out of bed playing with star wars figures and dinosaurs. Nurses very nice. Another big upset when mum, Odin, and grandma leave that night. Lots of cuddles and stories about the brave knight Sir Mars from dad, he fell asleep very quickly and slept soundly through the whole night. I didn't. He was hooked up to oxygen/pulse sensor which was supposed to beep madly if oxygen or pulse dropped below a set rate. First beeping was about 5 minutes after I finally managed to get to sleep. My heart jumped out of bed before I did. Sensor had slipped on his finger, or he had fidgeted and it went off because it wasn't getting a reading at all. Of course that managed to happen about 10 more time through the night. Combined with two more nurse visits for ventolin, I didn't get much sleep.

Mars woke up ready to go home. He was still coughing, still a little trouble breathing, but he is a smart kid. Up until then, when asked if it hurt to breathe, I got a yes. This time, there was a slight pause, then "No", having figured out what the 'right' answer was if he wanted to go home. He was looking better, more colour, and more active, don't know how many times I stood all his star wars men up so he could knock them down. Lungs still a little raspy according to nurses. Pediatrician came again that afternoon to check him over & said his lungs sounded better enough that we could go home. Swab came back negative for flu, most likely diagnosis was asthma attack, but Mars is too young for standard testing.

He gets to be on steroid inhaler until flu season ends just to be safe, then a followup to see where we go from there. A ventolin inhaler as well, plus his very own 'darth vader mask' to help administer it. Just glad to be home. My mum came and stayed again too, which was a great help. We figure it probably is asthma, Leaf also had it bad when she was little. Used to turn blue and have to be in an oxygen tent. We'd like to find out triggers. Maybe the dogs (I knew they'd regret eating his birthday cake off the table - would make the decision to find a new home for them so much easier!) Maybe seaonsal pollen, mold, or some environmental thing, but most likely a combination. We picked up a hepa filter for the bedroom on the way home. We'll get an allergy test done to be sure.

Mars had a nice day yesterday, lots of distracting from grandma. Today was tougher. My mum left yesterday afternoon, Leaf had to go into school early to catch up, and Mars wanted mummy more than anything. I think the trauma of the whole episode has really affected him. Had to drop him at the sitters this morning and he kept yelling that he wanted to go find mummy instead. I was very tempted to just bring him home again. Even Holly had a hard time & she is quite the master of distracting upset kids.

Spending the day cleaning and vacuuming and looking for mold. Found some in the bottom of the bedroom garbage can, some in an old jug. Unable to get an appointment with family doctor until November, so we'll be a little nervous until then. We have the inhaler, but not sure when another emergency room visit would be indicated. Err on the side of caution I guess. Lots of cuddles for Mars and Odin.

A deer in the yard!

A first for us, but more importantly the first good look at a deer for Mars. We've driven past them a number of times, but you never know if a two year old really sees it or is just saying they do because that's what a two year old does. The dogs had started barking madly, and I saw the deer out the kitchen window. Mars got to stand on the counter and see. It was pretty exciting for him as he had recently watched Bambi.

I think it came thru the golf course, over the highway, and down our creek. The next night I startled it out of the ravine while going down to the river to fill up the watering can. A regular visitor maybe? The dogs often have a bark fest late in the evenings.